My son enjoys watching “The Biggest Loser”. I confess I’m not as big a fan as he is, but I enjoy hanging out with him so if he’s into it then I’m game as well. The biggest take away for me so far – I’ve seen the show a half dozen times or so – is how the contestants connect their weight loss success to future success in general. In summary, anything is possible now that they’ve proven they can shed what has literally and figuratively held them back.
Weight has never been a problem for me, but I certainly wrestle with my own demons – mainly in the areas of career and success. I think my personal top three are fear, complacency, and procrastination. I’m afraid of failure and what others think so I don’t always do what I know I should. I rationalize my fears and settle for feeling satisfied with my existing accomplishments. Finally, I set goals to break through the fear and complacency, but procrastinate because the goals force me to revisit what I fear.
Despite the vicious circle I’ve just described I would characterize myself as a content, but driven person. In other words, I’m happy, but definitely not satisfied. With January in the rear view mirror I’m now assessing my 2015 goal progress. I know going in that I’m ahead on some, behind on others, and there are some I haven’t even started. Nevertheless, I’m committed to breaking the vicious cycle and have generated a list of things I know will keep me on track this year. If anything I’ve said resonates with you maybe you’ll also find them helpful.
1) Take small, daily actions
A goal starts by identifying something specific you want to accomplish and ends with achieving that something. For me, it’s what in the middle that really counts. Professionally, I want to write more this year than I ever have in the past. But doing so often makes me uncomfortable. “It’s not good enough,” I tell myself. “I can’t say that. What will people think?” I say. If I don’t write something every day, doing so mysteriously gets harder and harder. Before you know it, a month has gone by and I’ve got nothing to show for it. To stop this, I’m committed to writing something every day. I don’t have to publish as often, but I have to put words on the page. Just write. Some will like it. Some won’t. But that’s OK and I’m sure to get better with practice and feedback.
2) Find accountability
This is like finding a coach. Someone that can be honest with you. Interestingly, I’ve discovered another source of accountability that for me is almost as effective as one-on-one interaction – joining a group activity. I have two such groups – one for fitness and one for faith.
To keep myself on track physically I joined a boot camp class. It meets twice a week and I now know by name at least half a dozen other participants. Maybe it’s just me, but if I miss that class I feel badly because I know, or at least I tell myself I know, that my classmates noticed my absence. I don’t want to be that guy that shows up every once and a while. If I sign up for something I stick to it and I see it through. Joining a group holds me accountable.
My second group is a men’s ministry at my church. “Ironmen” as we call ourselves is based on Proverbs 27:17 – “As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another”. We meet every week at 7am for an hour. Because we’re relatively small it’s obvious when someone is not there. Every week I have to fight that little voice in my head trying to convince me to stay in bed and that no one will notice. After many years the voice is now just a whisper and pales in comparison to knowing I will miss out and the disappointment of not being there for someone that may need help.
Whether you find accountability in a friend, your spouse, a personal trainer, or a group, the key is to find it. Nobody gets better entirely on their own.
3) Knock ’em out early
This one comes with the caveat that it’s not possible for everyone. Nevertheless, I think the point is still relevant. The key is to properly set your priorities. Life is complicated for us all and it’s easy to get derailed in the normal coarse of every day life. If I’m going to succeed in completing the daily actions necessary to achieve my goals, it is important to get them done before the inevitable flood of emails, phone calls, and commitments that will postpone and eventually drain me of the energy and focus I need. Further, when I do check off my daily actions I find an increase in personal productivity that is otherwise not present. Clearly this caffeine like boost is generated by the satisfaction of having taken one more step toward the finish line.
4) Celebrate small victories
Each year I participate in an endurance bicycle ride called the “Six Gap”. The name refers to six mountain peaks that make this ride as much a mental test as it is physical. All told, the ride requires over 12,000 ft. of climbing to complete the 105-mile coarse. In previous years I finished the ride questioning why in the world I put myself through the pain I had just endured. Last year’s ride, however, I was determined to finish with a more positive attitude. I succeeded in “finishing fresh” as I dubbed it by training smarter and rewarding myself for completing milestones along the way. For example, I established a regimen of group training rides. Riding with a group held me accountable (see item 2 above) because I knew if I missed one of those rides I would not be able to keep up on the next one. Next, I celebrated each training ride, which usually consisted of eating something I normally wouldn’t come near without knowing I had just burned some serious calories. There were often golden arches involved. Finally, on race day I decided to ride my race – not comparing myself or trying to keep up with other riders – and mentally celebrate each of the six summits. By the end of the ride I had completed six smaller rides and felt amazing at the finish. Post script. This new strategy shaved over an hour and a half off of my previous year’s ride time.
What I’ve learned is that there is a lot of truth to “It’s about progress, not perfection.” Do the best you can everyday and reward even the smallest step forward.
5) Don’t beat yourself up
One of my favorite recent reads is Dr. Brene Brown’s, “Daring Greatly”. In it she discusses how we all live with what she terms – and I’m paraphrasing – a sense of scarcity. This is the feeling that we’re not good enough, thin enough, smart enough, rich enough, etc. And intuitively you might believe that the opposite of scarcity is abundance, but it’s not says Dr. Brown, it’s “enough”. Getting comfortable with “enough” – I am good enough, thin enough, etc. – won’t eliminate the sense of scarcity, but helps effectively deal with those inevitable feelings. My take on this is that we’re all hard wired to beat ourselves up, but understanding and accepting our nature will result in a more productive response.
I agree with the phrase, “If you’re not failing you’re just not trying hard enough.” If you’re trying to grow and improve you will fail. Just don’t allow those failures to define you and move on.
6) Pivot when necessary
The pivot is a term used frequently in the start up world. It means that despite what you thought about your business model and go to market strategy during development, your customers (or lack thereof), vendors, competitors, and other stakeholders may dictate that your organization take another path or fail. Pivots are an unavoidable reality in the business world as there are realities that you simply cannot foresee until you begin to execute. And managing the pivot is an integral part of the execution process.
In one of my recent ventures we made several discoveries along the way that required pivots. From pricing to features and marketing to sales, the need to pivot materialized on multiple occasions. Ultimately we had a successful exit, but without the pivots the acquisition would have never happened.
The best-laid plans will inevitable have flaws. Recognizing them and changing coarse is critical to reaching a positive outcome.
7) Don’t make excuses or complain
As a father of two boys – 11 and 13 – this one is especially relevant in my household. But as I field the excuses and complaints I have to remind myself that I’ve been there as well. In my experience, I made excuses and/or complaints and used them as reasons for not doing what I should have done. If I’m honest, however, I simply didn’t do it and I need to own that fact. With my kids it’s often, “I didn’t get my homework done because…” or “I didn’t do as well on that test as I could have because…” With me it’s pretty much the same thing, but replace homework and test with “presentation”, “report”, “client calls”, “workout”, “writing”, you name it.
What I’ve learned is that in virtually every case I could have changed the outcome. Making excuses and complaining doesn’t help me get better. Owning my mistakes and making the necessary changes so I don’t make them twice helps me improve and makes me generally more fun to be around.
8) If they don’t fit, you’re going to quit
Most goals are intended to change the way you live. That said, they have to fit your life in order to stick and achieve the intended change. For example, I cannot work out in the evenings or early morning because I have a family. I am not willing to give up that time and frankly it would be selfish of me to do so. To address this, I found a boot camp class that meets at lunch. Next, writing is not what I get paid to do so if I am committed to it, which I am, I have to see where it can fit. As an entrepreneur I have the autonomy and flexibility to move things around and make it work. I think the key here is to make sure the goals you’re setting don’t conflict with other areas of your life that are also important. Constantly feeling guilty about the pursuit of your goals is no way to enjoy the journey.
9) Write things down
This is one that I’ve often taken for granted and is surprisingly powerful. I think most of us make lists. As I get older I find them critical. At the same time I notice that I conveniently eliminate things from my list that I know should be there. This way I don’t have to look at the list at the end of the day and have that uncompleted item staring me in the face like I do my kids when they don’t do their chores. Here’s the thing. Guilt can be good. What I’ve learned is that the more I write things down the more I get things done. Even if it stares at me one day I’m more likely to get back on track the next.
10) Avoid situations that lead to set backs
We all have our triggers. A key one for me is allowing the day to consume me before completing certain tasks related to accomplishing my goals. Whatever yours may be it’s important to avoid them so they don’t derail you.
I’m a firm believer is setting goals. It’s fun to envision being, doing, and having the things I’ve set my sights on. The honeymoon is short-lived, however, once daily life and old habits find their way back into my routine. The tips above, writing them down and publishing them is a physical manifestation of my commitment to achieving my goals. I hope the list is also helpful for you and I welcome both your feedback as well as any additional tips you’ve found along the way.
Thank you!
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